I have heard this bit of common wisdom stated down through the years, "When a person is under pressure, or when a person gets angry, that's when you see the real them." Unfortunately, this belief showcases a lack of understanding of human psychology and biology, and is a bit too simplistic a measurement of people as people in all their complexity.

The thought is, at its base, comprised of the belief in two ideas: that what a person says when they are angry is the truth, and that there is a real self that we do or can keep hidden away. So, let us take a few moments to think about people and how they act and why they act the way they do, and explore a bit of the human psyche while we examine the pitfalls of the above quoted statement.

( ...very long... )

Finally, in the course of writing this essay, I realized something I hadn't intended to "prove", nor had I even noticed it until now: as a culture, as a species, we (unconsciously) glorify violence and aggression as real and honest (and thus also as good, as healthy). We place this idea of anger-being-truth, of anger-being-honest on a high mental pedestal and make many judgements towards others and choices of reaction based on that idea.

We must stop. We need to stop giving anger this conceptual space in our minds.

Whether my conclusions are right or wrong, it is my hope the above examination will provide some impetus to knock out the foundational premise we have assigned to these ideas about anger, and encourage thoughtful examination of both who we are and some of the unnoticed assumptions that inform our outlook and behaviors, as well as how that shapes us as people.

Even if it makes our heads hurt or makes us back away from the very notion.

While writing the other piece from tonight, I stumbled across RPGPundit's blog. Now, I've never been there before, and I proceeded to read entries. I was entranced, in a disturbing sort of way. Sometimes, I thought it almost sounded sane, and then we'd plunge right back into some vicious, off-the-deep-end territory, like a roller-coaster gone mad.

The whole thing oozed of hatred and...not even criticism, but childish bullying. It was full of name-calling, character assassination, and open demeaning contempt alongside a healthy dose of smug superiority.

( ...trying to describe it... )

I finally closed out the site with a bit of a sick-tremor, and thought about everything I had just read, page-after-page-after-page of the same vicious name-calling and sneering contempt. And then I thought: now, there's a guy who is addicted to self-righteous anger.

I realized that topic was just discussed this morning, so I did some research on the topic, and my own reactions to the site, and dug up some interesting links.

It was easy to see why I was entranced at first, why I kept reading page-after-page. It's easy to see why people get sucked into reading and even posting at such sites, why they behave this way, as either defenders of the verbally assaulted or as unapologetic attackers, and why the owners of sites like this seem to get such a kick out of slinging insults and cruel caricatures.

( ...links and references... )So, hate-rhetoric builds up a self-view as a righteous hero, which covers up the reality of the socially broken and irrational behaviors engaged in while angry, made self-sustaining through the judgmental feelings engendered by anger -- the inability to do wrong, the feeling of superiority and correctness -- which blind you to the negatives and faults of those very behaviors and make you look for the high it provides.

And that sort of behavior is even emotionally addictive just to watch (and just as emotionally damaging); all despite the best of intentions in your participation or choice of that behavior, as aggravator or respondent.

( ...anger and I... )

I'm staying far away from this stuff, because like any hate-rhetoric site, it is dangerous holistically -- to mind, body and spirit -- and impossible to reason with. I'm hoping that in a few weeks I can put the whole experience behind me.