Still having serious anxiety issues related to the legal issue, but I added more anxiety to that tonight: I wrote a letter to my dad because of a comment he made while here during the holidays.

My wife had mentioned to my mother and sister those baby dolls who were pulled off the shelves because they say "Islam is the light!" I commented, wryly I thought, that I bet no one would have complained if they had said "Jesus is the light!" My father responded, saying, "They're complaining because we're having a problem with those people."

I was floored. I tried to talk about it with him, but he turned back to the football game instead. So I spent a couple days thinking about what to say and then wrote an e-mail.

Still, I don't like confronting my dad because, well, he's my dad, for one. He's also stubborn and argumentative and can become very upset when confronted or corrected (I think I've mentioned before the arguments and so forth we went through when I told him I wasn't Christian). But he's not a bad person and used to be? quite thoughtful.

Part of the problem these days, I believe, is that he watches too much right-wing lies and spin FOX News, and too easily swallows their slick trash without fact-checking. I've tried to warn him about the constant misinformation put out by his media favorite, but I don't know if pointing him to non-partisan info sites like FactCheck or Snopes has done any good.

Regardless, following is the letter I wrote to him about his statement, trying to highlight the facts to him and get him thinking about what he said and what he thinks he knows, without my being angry or accusatory about it. (Thinking about it, this is honestly a letter much of America could stand to read and consider as well.)

I'll note I sent it after waffling for quite a bit, given my (hopefully, probably unfounded) apprehensions of setting fire to and burning bridges with it, because how often do you really want to tell off your dad, politely or not? And there's another human truth: dealing with family is difficult.

( ...text of letter follows... )

Well, that's it, glaring and serious grammatical errors, poorly relayed ideas and all. Hopefully it will go over in a positive manner.

ADDENDUM: it didn't (go over well). He bitched at me for inferring he was racist and pointed out how he has spent his life working with and for the rights and protection of minorities and the disadvantaged, including his being shot at and nearly killed on a number of occasions while delivering food and medical supplies by the people he was delivering them to, and how he kept going back anyways because it was the right thing to do. Which is all true.

And which makes his statement all the more aggravating. We must be careful not to advance stereotypes by using careless blanket statements in thought and speech, given that people will and do foolishly latch on to stereotypes as truths, whether they are the oppressor or the oppressed.

Amazon occasionally sends me e-mails about books and such things they think I will like based on previous purchases and so forth. Today I recieved an e-mail about the "War of Souls" triology.

Now, I've done a pass on the whole "War of Souls" triology because...well, it's DragonLance. The first triology was good reading, back when I was in early high school, but most of the books put out by TSR that bore the DragonLance name sucked big. I know because I purchased and read them all until a number of years ago when it just wasn't worth the expenditure any more (in time or money).

Plus, Tracy Hickman is an arrogant fundamentalist who believes non-Christians are not just deluded, but broken people with serious mental problems, and said so to my face a few years ago. I wish I still had the e-mails or the "Boycott Tracy Hickman" webpage I had quoted them on, but all are long lost to the ethers of cyberspace at this point. Honestly, I don't hate the guy, but I'll be damned if I'm ever going to support another thing with his name on it or with his hand in the work given that treatment.

In his defense, he did half-apologize, that is, he later stated he didn't believe we should focus on our differences but on our similarities. Which isn't really an apology; it's shitting on someone then trying to pretend it isn't a big deal you just shit on them: "You're a a broken, disturbed man because you aren't a Christian, but can't we just get along anyways, you pathetic thing?"

Anyways, the reviews on the product this time around made me stop and consider actually reading the series...and now I realize I won't, even though I am intrigued by the positive non-fanboy reviews. The memory of that whole conversation and the condescending bigotry it involved just talked me out of the possibility. Ah well.

The PD found the copy and produced the ad over the weekend, and I recieved an ear-full afterwards. I told him the same thing I told the VP: if I get copy advertising or supporting bigotry by any group, or from hate groups, I will not do it.

According to the conversation, this apparently will keep happening. That's fine, I can refuse it as many times as they try to pass it to me.

What disturbs me most about this, however, is that it was hinted to me that one of the people whose hands the production of the piece in question passed -- possibly even one of the other individuals I ticked off by refusing to do the spot, hell, possibly the PD for all I know -- might be/could be/is part of the GLBT community.

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I was finishing up work tonight, checked my incoming box for copy that needed to be done tonight, and there it was: another one of those damn spots from the "no rights for homosexuals" crowd. Man, I was pissed. I wrote another note on it: "Again, please do not send me copy about things like this. I will not do it. I will not help spread bigotry." Signed it and threw in in the outbox.

The problem this time is that the spot is due to be one the air today, rather than in a couple days; but no one who could redirect it to someone willing to put that trash on the air comes into the office until Monday morning. I'm fairly certain I know what's going to be said about this when it finally reaches someone: "This was due on the air two days ago! You can't make decisions about what goes on the air and what doesn't. We now have to give them their money back because we didn't play their paid ads!"

I'm fucked.

Because I don't care, I won't do it.

At the same time, I realize this is a business and I am costing the company money right now, which isn't my call. It is also definitely a more serious situation than last time because of that fact. So, I'm going to be waiting all weekend to discover the fallout from this. Yay.

I could call and see if the PD is going to be in this weekend and explain the situation to him, let him handle redistribution or whatever he wants to do about it, but I don't know that he will be. I'm hoping. I could also see if one of the other jocks would do it, but that feels far too much like complicity in its production/distribution, and that's what I will not have anything to do with.

And here I was thinking I was going to have a good full night of sleep. I'll need sleeping pills to kill the agitation and anxiety and actually get some rest.

{fidget}

On the other hand, I informed them previously I would not produce such spots. If they continue to give these things to me to do, is that their own failure for not getting the material to the proper people? Their mistake, I would argue.

(What really gets me is that if I were gay, they could not give me this sort of material without creating the danger of a lawsuit, because it would be like giving a black man ad-copy for the local Klan rally; but if something "just" offends one's ethical and religious beliefs, it's a much harder fight to gain "legitamacy" for the conflict-of-interest.)

I just stumbled through the door and I desperately need to get my full complement of sleep, but I figured I would leave a quick note so my friends out there don't spend all day wondering/worrying: I talked to the VP about the ad-copy as I said I would, and yes, I do still have a job, though that was put on the table.

I'll addendum about it here later, after I'm done crashing and hopefully kicking this hideous cold/sinus infection thing I developed, too.

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ADDENDUM: As promised, I am both finally awake and have some time now to write. I'm still pretty sick, though, and I had an evening shift tonight, so forgive me if this is choppy, I'm a bit out of it.

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Ultimately, everything seems to have turned out alright for the moment, but I do have to wonder how this might play out in the future, as I didn't get an answer about them not sending me copy for these sorts of things. Will things like this become a source of conflict and will I have to do this again? Well, I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it, and simply wait and see in the meanwhile.

Also, I don't know how big an impact it might have in the wider world, but then again, does it need to have?

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not thank you all for your support! It is greatly appreciated.

Tonight, I came into work and rifled through the new pieces of ad-copy in my in-box to see if there was anything there that needed my immediate attention (copy is sometimes a bit slow in getting to us, resulting in "This needs to be on the air NOW" situations).

There were a couple of those, and nestled amongst them I found something a bit disturbing: copy for an anti-homosexual rights organization who are fighting for a marriage amendment bill here in Minnesota.

I listened to the ads, and my growing scowl must have eventually sucked my eyeballs into the back of my skull. I was so angry I considered just tossing the copy in the garbage, but instead wrote "I will not help spread bigotry" on the copy, signed it, and threw it in the out-box.

I was pissed off. I came into the studio for my air shift and tried to calm down. I haven't yet; I am still fuming.

I am expecting some sort of backlash or discipline for this, possibly including the loss of my job, but quite frankly, I wouldn't run copy for Klan meetings or anti-Semitic Neo-nazi garbage either.

My employer cannot ask me to betray my religious or moral beliefs for their profit, and I will not do so, regardless of the consequences. I will not be party to it. I will not soil my hands or my soul with this sort of filth.

At the same time, I am also hopeful my employers will be wiser than I am giving them credit for, and they will simply not pass these sorts of things across my desk ever again.

Over in his LJ, Chris made some statements about why he wouldn't date white girls and there was some discussion about the issue. My comments are overly long for a, well, comment, so I'm posting a response here.

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