I have, for quite some time, labored under a mis-conception about Buddhism that I understood to be inaccurate, yet was clearly still entrapped by given my choice of words in thinking about and discussing the subject. That confusion was my use of the concept that Buddhism encourages detachment. And I have a feeling that many Westerners share that misconception.

Despite what you may have heard or think you know, Buddhism is not about cold, irrational Vulcan detachment. Quite the opposite. It is about a passionate, rational experience of life.

I've argued in the past that Buddhism is a great religion for atheists because it does not hold superstitious beliefs and functions as a very procedural, exploratory, even scientific path towards understanding self and becoming a better human being.

Unfortunately, even many atheists who do grasp how complimentary or even beneficial Buddhism would be to the atheist path of rational morality--rather than suffer childish apoplectic fits over the idea of atheism being compatible with a so-called "religion"--get it wrong and think that parts and bits of Buddhism and superstition must be discarded in order to "purify" it for their worldview.

Which is nonsense. Such claims only reveal that the person making them has completely failed to grasp the foundation of Buddhism itself and fallen back on reactionary perceptual programming counter to an actual Buddhist perception and acceptance of the world as it is.

Not in the idea of those superstitions being true, but of their truth or falsehood either not mattering to the practice of Buddhism or as serving some other function than what the Western atheist understands such things to function "for" in their particular understanding of religion, its pieces, their functions and use.

Earlier, I found a great article that points this out simply and also explains it simply, though perhaps not fully (which is rather zen of it, anyways). Because, you see, Einstein has the right of it:

"You may call me an agnostic, but I do not share the crusading spirit of the professional atheist whose fervor is mostly due to a painful act of liberation from the fetters of religious indoctrination received in youth. I prefer an attitude of humility corresponding to the weakness of our intellectual understanding of nature and of our being."

-- Albert Einstein, 1945

It is that last part that most interests me, for it is that part which most of the atheists I know forget, or know and yet gloss over ("Sure it has problems, but..."), believing or seeing no alternative to deification of the intellect.

The mind is but a radio telescope designed to examine the stars turned to examine itself, using tools designed to study distant stellar phenomena to study its own mysterious design, interpreting it the only way it can, in terms of radio waves and stellar values, missing and misunderstanding much.

When you know this, you respect and see the mind and its output for its limits as much as its range.

Why is it all the good stuff happens to other people? Seriously. I can work my ass off, be incredible at something, have all sorts of contacts and glowing references and valuable experience, and when it comes down to making any important career-movement I'm either not noticed or completely ignored by the powers that be.

And yet I watch others around me who do one fucking thing and suddenly they start receiving incredible offers to do incredible things, people who have put in way less time crawling through the shit to earn recognition and opportunity. And I can't help but feel both jealous and utterly defeated.

Why can't I get recognized? Am I not DUE some recognition? Haven't I done everything RIGHT? Am I somehow not GOOD ENOUGH? What's WRONG with me?

I know, I don't believe in the American capitalist fantasy that says hard work, intelligence, and skill rewards you if you just do all the things they say you need to do to be successful precisely because I see almost everyone getting screwed over by buying into that, many of whom continue to believe in it despite the evidence of their eyes and experience...so why am I still buying into the entitlement fantasy?

Knowing the lie doesn't make it hurt any less.

I realize the Buddhist thing to do is to realize the nature of desire is to create suffering, and that my unrealistic desires shaped by cultural programming of expectations, supposed needs and identity are causing me suffering. But that's harder to do than to say because my brain still craves recognition, opportunity, being useful.

I should focus on the truth:

Trying to attain the American Dream is like being a trench fighter in WWII: it doesn't matter what your rank is, how old you are, how good you are, how smart you are. You're crawling through the mud with bullets whizzing by your head, watching people around you die and knowing that your survival is entirely out of your hands: "There but for the grace of God go I."

They tell you to "keep your head down and crawl forward" as though that will protect you. But it has nothing to do with you. What they don't say is that focusing on the crawl does nothing but keep your mind off the bullets, it won't keep you safe or guarantee that maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones who isn't shot. Nothing you can personally do will increase your chances of surviving.

Your survival is a function of the chaos of the battlefield and the choices of thousands of other men you have no control over--from the guy who made the bullets to the guy picking out his targets to the guy who crawls in front of you at just the wrong moment and eats the bullet that had your name on it--and the vagaries of physics--maybe your helmet will be just enough to bounce that bullet off, or maybe not.

That's how capitalism works. They'll tell you (and if they're naive maybe even believe) that if you keep your head down and just keep crawling forward you'll make it. But whether or not a bullet finds you has nothing to do with your head or crawling. Making it to the other side is pure luck, and that advice didn't help anyone who didn't make it, nor did anyone claimed by a bullet do it wrong.

That's the fairy tale we tell ourselves to avoid the insane truth, to rationalize the chaos, to stay sane in an environment we can't comprehend, predict, or control. We try to put rules to it, predictable patterns, survival strategies.

I know I will "get" if I'm lucky, not because I do the proper things. So perhaps the answer is that I just need to stop crawling through the shit, or at least stop expecting the crawl is giving me any greater privilege or notability or chance than anyone else.

So this is a war I don't have to fight. There's no need to crawl towards the goal if I'm not trying to attain it, if I simply stop believing in its reality, its necessity, its attractiveness. The bullets of inconsequentialism can no longer do any harm once they stop being bullets. I can't fail to succeed if success is no longer a goal to move towards, if I simply disobey and ignore my American cultural programming that success and recognition is what life is about.

But my mind starts fighting with itself: if I don't desire to do anything, what will I do? I won't want to accomplish anything because I no longer need to, so I won't accomplish anything, and I want to accomplish something, but the point is to divest oneself of wanting to accomplish, of hooking the ego upon accomplishment. I'm still programmed.

But at least working it out on paper helps.