Went to one of the local car dealerships today to check out inventory and prices. Spent a couple hours, which surprised me. But I found a decent '03 Dodge van that handled well and would fit everyone, good mileage, new tires, looks well taken care of, engine sounds good. Talked the dealership down $1500 from their sale price and then couldn't get financing today. Won't know until late Monday morning sometime.

Thinking we might have to put a hold on our phone and satellite services through the winter to be able to afford it, and either move internet to a cheaper package with less speed or put it on hold as well. I can live without TV and I have a cell phone, but we can't be without a car. Not so sure about being without internet. Not a lot of leeway anywhere else.

But being without a vehicle is a pain in the ass. Once you have a vehicle, not having one is like someone having cut your legs off. You can't go where you want to go when you want to go there, and I'm not big on walking.

Yesterday I had to walk from one part of town and then turn around and head all the way back downtown. My leg was killing me by the time I got there (and not the one my back pain is screwing up). Luckily, my mechanic called to tell me the news about my toast car while I was still downtown, and only a couple blocks from the shop. So I headed over there and he told me "You can probably drive it home. There's nothing worse you can do to it now." I did.

It sounded...well, it was banging pretty hard and squealing -- my oldest daughter said it sounded like it was crying.

Parked it in the back yard alongside the garage. Sell it for parts.

Heard back from the mechanic today. Sadly, the car is toast. Sadly, not the kind of toast you can eat.

The weekend has not been fun.

More financial problems on the horizon, and I'm left wondering if we're going to be able to keep the house I just bought. I just don't know where all the money is going to come from. We owe the vet, we owe the repairman, we still owe our last cellular provider, I may be charged for damages to the house we were renting, winter and the heating season are coming...

There are only a few bills I can cut. And most of them won't make the dent I need.

And these were things I was wondering about before the car ate itself.

I drove up to the wedding of a childhood friend and the car died right there. So instead of spending the night with Jen on her birthday, I spent it at the hotel the wedding was held at and slept on a cot.

The engine is either bad or would need to be taken out and torn apart to be repaired. Meaning, no matter what, it is likely going to be far more cost effective to buy a new vehicle than repair the car.

Mostly, I don't know where the money to buy a 'new' vehicle is going to come from.

There are upsides, there were positives to the weekend, there are ways out of the crisis I think; mostly I'm just venting anxiety. Mostly. I still don't know where the money for a vehicle is going to come from, though we desperately needed a van anyways (couldn't fit everyone in the car).

More on the weekend later, including why I shouldn't go to weddings.

Well, I got my car back today. Finally!
Driving that borrowed beast was fraying my nerves.

So, the car: it's fixed!...mostly.

There's a busted radial on one of the wheels, which means I need to replace that before it goes. Once I have the money to buy a new tire. Sigh. However, my mechanic moved it to the back passenger side so it wouldn't cause as much vibration, and did an alignment for free.

He's also, very thankfully, letting me make payments on the sick amount I owe for the subframe and struts. This is why I love my mechanic.

Also, I finished a ~2000 word short story last night, or at least the first chapter in a longer story; we'll see how far it goes. The story is up at the Well, on my site. It is also the story I mentioned some time back of which I lost the first 600 words -- I managed to sit down and rewrite it all, and then some (obviously). Comments and criticism are appreciated.