I was going to title this post "From Seventy to Snow" and bitch about the damn weather because we had another frickin' blizzard after a week of beautiful temperatures, clear Spring skies, and no snow to be seen anywhere, but then Jen and I had the best bedtime conversation ever last night:

"I wish you were more like the men on TV?"

"Which men do you mean? Like the boxer-brief models? Or maybe the guys from the beer commercials?"

"Ew, no! You know who I mean."

"No. What men? Like...George Lopez? I don't think I can be more Mexican. Though Dave did say I look like a Mexican drug lord, but that was when my hair was longer...and I'm already pretty funny, but I can try to be funnier. Listen, 'Whu-pah!' See, I can do that."

"No, not George Lopez! Gods, men are clueless!"

"What men, then? There's all sorts of men on TV. And since we're deciding we want the other person to be more like someone else, why can't you be more like Angelina Jolie?"

"Hey now! I didn't name anyone specific!"

"I know, and look at the confusion that caused. So I am."

"So you want me to be more like Angelina Jolie? There, are my lips big enough? You want me to wake up in the middle of the night when you try to cuddle me and kick your ass all Tomb Raider-style?"

"Oh, hell-yes! What a turn-on!"

"Getting your ass kicked when you're trying to snuggle is a turn-on? Getting thrown down on the floor and pummeled?"

"You know, it's that whole pleasure-pain thing, you don't know which is which, especially because it's Angelina Jolie on-top of you. I'd be all 'Oh baby. Angelina Jolie is straddling me. I have a woody!' so the pummeling wouldn't matter."

"Fine then, I want you to be more like...the Doctor!"

"Well, I already have the hair for it."

"Not quite. It needs to be a little longer."

"It'll grow. So I have the hair, and I'm clever, intelligent, and occasionally oblivious -- "

" -- Occasionally? -- "

" -- And I travel around time and space in a small blue box."

"You don't keep a sonic device in your pocket, and -- "

" -- Pff. I work at a radio station? Hello? Sound waves? -- "

" -- Is it bigger on the inside than the outside?"

"What? The sonic device? My pocket?"

"Yeah. Do you have a pocket that is bigger on the inside than the outside?"

"The Doctor has a pocket bigger on the inside than the outside? I've never heard that."

"It's true."

"Well, you can't believe everything you see on TV."

"Wrong accent."

"Casting concerns, you know -- you get the actors where you can. Besides, there was an American Doctor."

"No there wasn't!"

"There was too! He was only in one episode or special or something. But he was American. There was an American Doctor."

"That doesn't count."

"It's canon! One of the thirteen Doctors was American."

"Hah! There are only ten Doctors."

"I told you I was a Time Lord..."

"Yeah, you're the Doctor and I'm Angelina Jolie."

"That's good. Keep a positive attitude! It's important to have goals."

Then we screwed like rabbits.

(I'm just saying that to bother Amy. HAH! You read it and now you can't UN-read it!

(But we did. HAH!))