Gods, is there anything more atrocious and agonizingly pointless than fanbois?
You know, the Trekkies who argue with you about the fifteen tiny ways you misdescribed Klingon skull-ridges, how "Captain Picard would never do something like that!", and bitch that since Bajor is on the edge of the Federation there's no way you could make it from there to Earth in two days and now the universe is falling apart! Fret! Bitch! Moan!
That's a fanboi.
I #$!!$%!! hate fanbois.
And I hate them especially when I have to deal with them over on the DarkSun boards at Wizards. Gods. They charge into every goddamn thread to tear down, spit, and piss on anything that isn't in line with (the already contradictory) canon.
Everything is done under the guise of "rational dissection" of whatever material is under discussion -- so they can sound surprised and offended if someone tries to put them in their place -- but even when you say, "This isn't canon nor meant to be!" the only responses they can provide are how it doesn't work according to canon and how canon (or their personal-but-absolutely-definitely-offic
And then, when they're called on being twats, they spend posts arguing and justifing their behavior and telling you how you somehow deserved whatever abuse they are handing out, which they will alternately claim was not really abuse or how it is justified.
Gods. I hate fanbois.
They think they're great because their contribution to society is the same as any fool can pull off: they can tear things down. The problem, of course, is that they are blinded to the possibilities, they never think about or argue how something MIGHT be made to work because they are too invested in their Sacred Writ, whatever that might be.
They do not exist to improve the material in question -- though their efforts often masquerade as doing so -- they exist only to defend it or prove their own superior mastery/knowledge of it to everyone around them.
There is also the anti-fanboi, who are just as bad: the doctor (or doctor's wife) who devotes an entire website to pointing out the medical errors or other personal (usually petty) annoyances in "House M.D.", ragging on the show for bad writing because they miffed some detail only doctors would notice or really even give a fuck about?
Or like the people who got worked up about ID4, or Star Wars, or The Matrix: "The Matrix doesn't work because humans can't be batteries, blahblahblahblahblah..." Good gods. Whatever. Does anyone but you care? No.
Go watch the Simpsons episode "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show" (4F12), wait for the Q&A scene at the comic book store. Those fat geeks, that's you, fanboi.
Oh hell, if you don't recall it, here:
Homer and June make a personal appearance at "The Android's Dungeon", which is overflowing with cartoon cognoscenti, including Doug, Benjamin, and Gary, the nerds from Homer's college days.
Doug: In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a [the three nerds give nasal chuckles] magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
June: Uh, well, uh...
Homer: I'll field that one. Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?
Thank you, Homer, you are my hero.
In fact, I will kiss the first person to find or send me a video clip of that scene.
You know, the Trekkies who argue with you about the fifteen tiny ways you misdescribed Klingon skull-ridges, how "Captain Picard would never do something like that!", and bitch that since Bajor is on the edge of the Federation there's no way you could make it from there to Earth in two days and now the universe is falling apart! Fret! Bitch! Moan!
That's a fanboi.
I #$!!$%!! hate fanbois.
And I hate them especially when I have to deal with them over on the DarkSun boards at Wizards. Gods. They charge into every goddamn thread to tear down, spit, and piss on anything that isn't in line with (the already contradictory) canon.
Everything is done under the guise of "rational dissection" of whatever material is under discussion -- so they can sound surprised and offended if someone tries to put them in their place -- but even when you say, "This isn't canon nor meant to be!" the only responses they can provide are how it doesn't work according to canon and how canon (or their personal-but-absolutely-definitely-offic
And then, when they're called on being twats, they spend posts arguing and justifing their behavior and telling you how you somehow deserved whatever abuse they are handing out, which they will alternately claim was not really abuse or how it is justified.
Gods. I hate fanbois.
They think they're great because their contribution to society is the same as any fool can pull off: they can tear things down. The problem, of course, is that they are blinded to the possibilities, they never think about or argue how something MIGHT be made to work because they are too invested in their Sacred Writ, whatever that might be.
They do not exist to improve the material in question -- though their efforts often masquerade as doing so -- they exist only to defend it or prove their own superior mastery/knowledge of it to everyone around them.
There is also the anti-fanboi, who are just as bad: the doctor (or doctor's wife) who devotes an entire website to pointing out the medical errors or other personal (usually petty) annoyances in "House M.D.", ragging on the show for bad writing because they miffed some detail only doctors would notice or really even give a fuck about?
Or like the people who got worked up about ID4, or Star Wars, or The Matrix: "The Matrix doesn't work because humans can't be batteries, blahblahblahblahblah..." Good gods. Whatever. Does anyone but you care? No.
Go watch the Simpsons episode "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show" (4F12), wait for the Q&A scene at the comic book store. Those fat geeks, that's you, fanboi.
Oh hell, if you don't recall it, here:
Homer and June make a personal appearance at "The Android's Dungeon", which is overflowing with cartoon cognoscenti, including Doug, Benjamin, and Gary, the nerds from Homer's college days.
Doug: In episode 2F09, when Itchy plays Scratchy's skeleton like a xylophone, he strikes the same rib twice in succession, yet he produces two clearly different tones. I mean, what are we to believe, that this is some sort of a [the three nerds give nasal chuckles] magic xylophone or something? Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
June: Uh, well, uh...
Homer: I'll field that one. Let me ask you a question. Why would a man whose shirt says "Genius at Work" spend all of his time watching a children's cartoon show?
Thank you, Homer, you are my hero.
In fact, I will kiss the first person to find or send me a video clip of that scene.
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